LOW SPIRITS

Within a week of leaving hospital we spent a few days with family in North Wales. I was still coughing and feeling somewhat 'fragile' but in good spirits and, as I knew we would, we had a brilliant time. So much laughing....I am so fortunate to have such a lovely family.

However, living as we do on ground floor level, and given that my daughter and family live in a house spread over 4 floors, it is not surprising that the stairs gave me some real problems. The house is rented and has 4 bathrooms and a shower room!!! That is 5 loos/toilets/whatever you wish to call them - but not one on the ground floor....every trip means up a floor or down a floor!!! Who goes down must go up and so forth. After a couple of days I needed some time to get up the stairs with a couple of stops and then a sit on the bed before ..... and coughing so badly I just couldn't breath in between coughing spasms - which makes life pretty difficult and scary. The day after we returned home I presented myself at the hospital. COPD was mentioned, as was previous smoking damage(I gave up over 30 years ago!). Those who follow my blog may know that Bronchiectasis (a form of COPD) is a real fear of mine as my mother suffered very badly from this with her CLL). It also appears from arterial blood tests that I am 'over-breathing' and this is not helping. It is not panic because I can't breathe, it's just I can't suck the air in enough to get my breath. I have lung function tests in a couple of days. I am also being seen on a weekly basis for my CLL by a different doctor as mine is away. This doctor believes the coughing could be viral. Meanwhile my pill collection is growing and I will soon need a shopping trolley if I want to go away again. However, this begs the question 'will I be able to go and see my family again because of my problem with the stairs?' It is about a 7 hour drive each way and with my grandchildren in school/college and studying for their exams and my daughter and son-in-law working, it is not practical for them to come this way. I admit my 'pity party' has lasted 3 days now. The future doesn't look fair to middling - it just doesn't look much at all at the moment. I am on steroid withdrawal (YET AGAIN) with no guarantee that the new drug is working and that the AIHA won't blaze into action (probably around Christmas if my body follows its general pattern). Anyone have any shafts of light they can send in my direction?